No rant or professional psychoanalysis here, just a genuine need to understand the entitlement creed that this sweeping the nation. No, I am not talking about entitlement made in accordance within a legal framework but the rampant belief that one is inherently deserving of unearned privileges, rewards and special treatment. There are those that have a sense of a sense of entitlement, believing that life owes them rewards, resulting in imperiously imperative demands. They consider it healthy, natural even to expect, assume, demand and feel entitled on things not belonging to them. Not achieving their ends, can have some rather nasty consequences.
The terrible twos may have been frustrating, cute, accepted and indulged. In growing adults, it is what it is. The rod was stopped. The children were spoiled. Religion and spirituality became taboo. The era of privileges reigns , the entitlement creed sets in and the future is not promising as a progressive society.
One person known to me actually craves approval and admiration. A braggart, his recent anthem is his new found riches, not through hard work, but benefits granted and demanded, “as was his right”from an ailing, elderly parent. Capable of deep rage, cutting threats, violence and a volatile personality, brought on by insecurity as a poor student, his bullying tendencies extracted favours and material benefits which impacted negatively on the family. Not worthy of self-made endeavours, he demands respect, does not believe in compromise which eventually resulted in estrangement as his victims self-coping mechanisms kicked in.
An entitled person expects sympathy, demands it, yet when sympathy and understanding is needed from them, their reserves are lacking. Attention grabbers of note, they are capable of using others as stepping stones to fulfilling their wants without taking others needs into consideration. In the company of “entitled” persons, expect selfish behaviour, unrealistic demands, double standards, ego stroking and emotional blackmailing. “Compromise” is a rare word in their vocabulary or belief. Able to get away with charm once or twice, eventually, their real personality and truth emerges. This is how one would identify an “entitled” person :
1. “Me, me, me”
Everything resolves around them.
2. “Give me”
It is all about their needs, what, when and how they want it. Take them out for a meal and you end up footing the bills all the time.
3. Dominating bullies
The dominating streak is very evident as they emphasize themselves, to the extent of bullying.
4. Punitive personalities
They know to extract what they perceive to be rightfully theirs and if thwarted, punishment can be meted out ruthlessly to the point of “the silent treatment” or narcissistic threats.
5. Competition, Competition, Competition
Whilst competition may be healthy sometimes, excessive competition is not. Appropriation and feathering their own nests at the expense of others is of paramount importance to them.
Let us take South Africans who demanded affirmative action.
The act “was passed to promote the constitutional right of equality and exercise true democracy. This idea was to eliminate unfair discrimination in employment, to ensure the implementation of employment equity to redress the effects of discrimination, to achieve a diverse workforceb roadly representative of our people, to promote economic development and efficiency in the workforce”. Source Wikipedia
Thereafter, they demanded exorbitant salaries with minimal tertiary training or experience which affected service delivery. Those that are jobless bemoan their fate of being “jobless” and are content to seek handouts without any input. However, without looking too closely, one is able to see the work opportunities available. The “entitled” expect the “government to provide” with free education, houses and grants etc. Sadly, for pure selfish political reasons, the government promised when in fact, they should have inculcated the proverb “give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime”.
I tease my husband a lot at home, it’s a running joke that “what’s his is mine and what’s mine is mine.” In every one of us, the entitlement monster lurks. Most of those flames are fanned as children, presumably by over indulgent parents, guilty parents or the circumstances surrounding lives. What one needs to be though, is sensibly, sensitively mindful of our words and deeds and change those negative attributes for the better to encourage personal happiness. We need to :
- Not have unrealistic expectations;
- Eradicate the cancerous, destructive seeds of our minds;
- Understand that honest work generates success and benefits;
- Celebrate the joys, however small. It is celebration in good spirit that gratitude is born, spreads and decency rooted.
Ugly personality defects need re-structuring. Giving in to threats and blackmail will not help matters or the coddled. Whilst understanding of the “entitled’s” situation is important, demands should not be met for immediate gratification or appeasement. The entitlement mentality needs redressing however difficult or unpalatable it may be.